I’ll get straight to the point, as I normally do. 😊 FOCUS and SELF-DISCIPLINE are, in my opinion, a key success factors.

Why Focus?

Where we direct our attention has a significant impact on where we invest our energy and, as a result, where we can expect results or success. This thought sums it up best: Where focus goes, energy flows.

Where we direct our focus – on the problem (point A = problem situation) or on the solution (point B = desired state) significantly determines how and how much mental energy we will spend constructively or unconstructively. Based on this, I divide people into two categories:

  1. Those who focus on the problem and
  2. Those who focus on solutions.

Many people constantly focus on various reasons why they cannot solve the problem or why they cannot achieve the set goal. Usually these are some external obstacles, which, of course, they have no influence on, so they have no choice but to complain and thus show their dissatisfaction with the current situation (point A). Psychologists call this external locus of control. The individual’s focus is thus on rationalization (defense mechanism); why it can’t be done, how it can’t be done, who is to blame for it and how they are the victim. No or relatively little attention is focused on how they can solve the problem and change the current undesirable situation. Most of the energy then goes into ‘complaining’, which is completely unconstructive and energy-wasting, as the situation rarely changes for the better as a result. If I use coaching terminology, I would say that they are stuck at point A – the problem state.

The second category of people focuses on solutions, on what is possible and what they can concretely do to get as close as possible to their goal. In doing so, they are proactive and do not wait for the situation to resolve itself, but direct their focus to thinking about what they can do themselves, what strategy would be best, who can help them with this, and so on. They have an internal locus of control and consequently invest their energy much more constructively, which leads to moving from point A (problem state) to point B (desired state). They use a similar amount of energy as people from the first category, but the result is significantly better.

How to move from point A to point B?

The key is to know how to shift our focus so that we can use our energy more constructively and achieve the results and success we want. The way we make this mental shift is quite simple. We ask powerful and relevant questions that shift the person’s focus.

In the course of coaching practice, I realized that individuals who have experienced stagnation in a problematic state can be moved towards the desired state with simple coaching questions. The questions are, for example:

  1. What do you want?
  2. What is your goal?
  3. Why is this goal important to you?
  4. What will happen if you don’t do anything?
  5. How will you know that you have reached your goal?
  6. How does the desired state differ from the current state?
  7. What can you do to achieve the goal? List at least 4-5 options?
  8. Which option do you think is the best?
  9. By when will you realize it?
  10. Who can support you in this?

With such simple questions, we can redirect the individual’s focus and encourage him/her to think. And this is actually the main role of a coach: to stimulate the thinking of the coachee (recipient of coaching) and guide him/her through the mental process to design solutions that are right for him/her.

Who can benefit from this?

This skill can be useful both for managers who want to strengthen proactivity in their employees, as well as for personnel experts who co-design educational programs, and ultimately also for parents who want to teach their children to take responsibility and think critically. It logically follows that coaching skills are actually useful and suitable for anyone who wants it.

If you also want to acquire coaching skills that you could immediately test in practice, I invite you to the Coaching Psychology training.

Why self-discipline?

Self-discipline means that we have the willpower to choose what we want in the long run in a given situation over what we want in the moment. We may not always be in the mood to generate ideas to solve a problem, but we would rather turn to the other side and do something more fun. This is where self-discipline comes in – to decide on the activity that will benefit us more in the long run, despite the fact that it is probably less pleasant.

When we have an action plan ready for the realization of the goal, it is crucial to stick to this plan. It is often the case that these activities require some additional mental effort from us, so that a part of us would prefer to avoid it. That’s why self-discipline is key to achieving long-term success.

In this area too, a coach can benefit us, as it promotes consistency and strengthens self-discipline with regular progress checks. Thus, we have someone by our side who not only believes in our success, but also encourages us to do so and calls us to account when we do not stick to the action plan we set for ourselves. Without a doubt, this is also a skill that can benefit us both at home and in a business environment.

At the Coaching psychology training, we place great emphasis on strengthening self-discipline and understanding the mechanisms of motivation. If you are interested in this, I invite you to join us.

 

Dr. Sabina Đuvelek